you changed me, and i am still trying to figure it out. unattached is not me, but it helps me deal. i am starting to wonder if the thing i swore i would never do again is exactly what i am doing. you are at your best when no one is watching. we don't talk anymore because it still hurts. that could have been me...and not just once. sometimes i wish you were so much more. i need you here, and it's sad that you are gone. i wish i knew you like i am supposed to. i wonder constantly when will your day come, and will i even know when it does. why does the one thing that is constant throughout every one's life, always make me evaluate mine. i wish you tried to understand me better. you mean more to me than you will every know. why i am so weak towards you. why do i base my success on that. when it comes to lists, mine is always shorter when it should be much longer. i wish i could. you amaze me like i never thought you would. you give me false hope, and i fall for it every time. you don't know me at all...when you should know me the best. i love you, and i miss you, and you will always be a part of me. i wish that you could give me all of you, without me giving up all of me. you were, and i still think you are...but i have no clue why. i keep waiting on you patiently, but you keep moving on without me, impatiently. i will be the everything in a life, but maybe not yours...and you won't notice till i am gone. what i truly want can never be bought. i love you. there's once in a lifetime, and there's once in a while...and the difference between the two is about a million miles...guess what, i am the once in a lifetime. you won't feel better at my expense. i will wait, understand, smile, and do the right thing. as i always do, and you always expect. to my personal miracle, when you see love, run and catch it as fast as you can...before it slips away out of your line of site. second chances are rare, don't make the same mistake twice. sometimes you have to be apart from people you love, but that doesn't mean you love them any less. sometimes it makes you love them even more. you know you're made for more, so don't be afraid to move, your faith is all it takes, and you can walk on water too. our fingerprints don't fade from the lives we touch. it's too bad you can't give me a second of your time when it seems like I have give you a lifetime of mine. you are out looking for something you already have found. when it comes to matters of the heart...listen close, because it whispers softly...but never deny it. it's interesting...you get paid to make life and death decisions, yet you still wouldn't know what to do in real life if you paid someone to help you. you will be wrong, and as always, i won't say i told you so. and then the light from the darkness. sorry does not fix it...never did, never will...and even though it's not my style...i told you so. sometimes i am wrong, and sometimes being wrong is the best thing that could've happened. you living without consequence will surely change and when it does...hold on for dear life. if i treated you like you treat me, you would hate me. you make me feel the worst i've ever felt and the best i've ever felt.... you do it every time, and every time i let you. it's not about if she's hot it's about if she stays hot. i know that even though you think you have found it, you will be wrong because you found it in me long ago...see you then. i can only hope I haunt your dreams ten times as much as you haunt mine, I have a feeling I already do. you used to say you were lucky to have me....now you think you can have me whenever you want. true colors will always show....no matter how much you try to paint over them in your mind. if I never hear from you again...it will be too soon. I used to think that the reason you treated me so poorly was because of my karma, but I can't wait till karma finds you...it will make your actions towards me look heavenly. you haunt my existence.
If you are absent during my struggle don't expect to be present during my success. glad to know you ruined my hope....but the memories will soon ruin yours. come back to me before i can't come back to you... april 12 2000. thought I lost but I didn't, flattering, but get your own life. you don't lose friends, but hopefully you lose the one's that are pretending to be.
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